


Tell Him

by moonwillow27458



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Castiel, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt Sam Winchester, M/M, Pining Castiel, Post-Hell Sam, Protective Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 04:51:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4906204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonwillow27458/pseuds/moonwillow27458
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam gets injured in a hunt, and reverts to his post-Hell self. Castiel is so worried that he accidentally reveals his crush on Sam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell Him

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've written something mostly from Cas' point of view, but I'm honestly quite happy with this :)

Cas didn’t know where Dean was; Sam was somewhere to his left, but Dean was completely MIA. He sent a quick glance back in Sam’s direction, hoping the hunter would pick up on his hint, before stumbling forward. In his hands was a sawed-off shotgun, which he’d been given for protection against ghosts. He pointed it in front of him, wary of any and every sound.

Behind him, he heard the sound of Sam’s ragged breaths getting louder. Though he wanted to turn and face Sam, he forced himself to keep his eyes in front in case the ghost appeared. From what Sam had researched, the ghost was some sort of psychiatric doctor with a vendetta against her patients, and was definitely going to be trouble.

Suddenly, a noise from the other side of the room caught Sam and Cas’ attention. They spun around just in time to see a vase, seemingly by itself, hit the floor with a grand shatter. Cas lifted his shotgun in a more defensive position and Sam held out an iron fire poker carefully. Grimacing, Sam’s lips twitched and his fingers tensed and relaxed in the space of a second.

“Where’s Dean?” Cas questioned, his voice even deeper than usual as he whispered.

“Looking for the bones,” Sam replied with the same quietness, not turning around to face Cas. His eyes had not lifted from the broken vase, and he’d barely even blinked.

Cas saw it a millisecond before it happened, but was still unable to stop it beforehand. Out of nowhere, the ghost appeared beside Sam and grinned wickedly before it pushed Sam into the wall. Petrified, Cas stood frozen, the crack in the wall and the heap that was Sam on the floor not registering with him right away. By the time he reacted, the ghost was back over Sam, her blue vapour fingers running over Sam’s forehead the way Cas’ should have been. Jealous, he fired the shotgun into her side, causing her to dissipate.

Panicked, Castiel rushed over to Sam’s side, stumbling over his own feet in his haste to reach Sam. With a thud, he landed next to his friend, but ignored the stinging in his knees and instead tried to gage how hurt Sam was. Though there weren’t any apparent wounds, Cas could tell that something was definitely wrong.

“Sam, are you okay?” Cas asked insistently, receiving nothing but a dazed look from Sam in return. “Answer me, dammit!”

“Is it just me, or is the room getting smaller?” Sam replied with a nervous laugh, glancing everywhere but Cas’ face. Furrowing his brow, Cas caressed Sam’s face gently, testing Sam’s temperature and searching for any sign of concussion but finding nothing. Sam started to curl in on himself as he continued to stare around the room. Following Sam’s question, Cas’ eyes flicked up but didn’t understand what Sam was talking about.

“Sam, the room’s fine - are _you_?” Cas asked, the worry in his voice forcing Sam to focus on him.

“No, I don’t - I don’t…” Sam stuttered, seemingly out of breath. He shook loose of Cas’ grip and rubbed a hand over his face with a grimace. Harsh breaths rattled through him as he refused any touch Cas tried. “Is this real?”

Cas stood up slowly, holding himself carefully so as to look as harmless as possible.

“Are you hallucinating?”

Sam looked up at Cas as he spoke, but didn’t answer him. Instead, Sam just seemed to become more panicked at the sight of Cas, eyes widening in fear before snapping shut again. Sam’s lips moved ever-so-slightly in a silent mumble, and his body began to tremble.

Cas knelt back down beside Sam, worry washing over him. He’d never seen such a reaction from Sam - the closest had been when he’d seen Sam suffering from the visions of Lucifer. However, that had been slightly different - then, Sam had thought that Cas was Satan, and now - now Sam didn’t seem to see Cas at all. As Cas stroked his arm, Sam leapt away as if he’d been burnt, causing Cas to let out a sad sigh.

“Sam…” Cas’ voice shook as he spoke. He’d never been more frightened for Sam in his whole life.

“You’re not - you’re not Cas,” Sam watched his friend carefully, twitching his eye at Cas’ every move. “He’s not real, Sam, he’s _not_ …” Sam was muttering to himself as he stared blankly at Cas.

“Sam, of course I’m…” Cas started, but then realised what was happening. The nurse with the vendetta, mental patients whose problems worsen, and Sam’s _specific_ history. “You are _**not**_ in Hell, Sam. I _promise_ you.” Sam’s eyes quickly flashed up at him, but soon returned to their glazed state. Gingerly, Cas tried to shake Sam out of his vacant state, jolting his shoulders. Instead, Sam closed his eyes and covered his ears, ignoring Cas altogether.

“Shut up, _shut up, **shut up!**_ ” Sam roared fiercely with a rage that seemed to be fueled by fear. Tears were streaming down his paling face, and Cas couldn’t hold in his own panic any longer.

“Dean. _**Dean!**_ ” Cas yelled. He heard some crashing from another room of the house, and then Dean’s unmistakable, heavy footsteps. Sure enough, the older Winchester appeared in the room, grinning despite the blood on his face.

“I’m kinda busy, Cas,” Dean huffed out. He presented a golden necklace which had some sort of jewels glinting on it. That’s what they were here for, what the ghost was attached to. “I got it, now I just gotta burn it.”

“Well, hurry up - she’s done something to Sam,” Cas replied more coldly than he’d meant to, keeping his eyes on Sam, who was now rocking back and forth. Cas’ words caused Dean to look up, the same feeling of the panic brewing in Cas’ stomach clear on Dean’s face. Dean’s jaw clenched tightly as he saw how Sam was acting.

Dean didn’t have any salt on him. He did, however, have lighter fluid, which he dumped generously over the necklace. The ghost appeared in the room again, charging at Dean like she had Sam, but the older Winchester was too quick for her. With a quick flick, his zippo had sparked and immediately set the pool of fuel, including the jewellery, on fire.

Cas watched the blaze intently for a few seconds, and the nurse burning up with it, before returning his focus to Sam. There was no change in Sam’s behaviour, which worried Cas slightly. Surely if they’d killed the nurse, her curse should have gone too. Nervously, Dean knelt beside Cas, watching his brother’s ever-changing face.

“Sam, talk to me,” Dean shoved Sam’s shoulder gently in an attempt to get him to respond. Thankfully, Sam’s eyes flew open instantly, though their joy didn’t last for long. His glance began darting between them, obviously frightened.

“No, please, don’t use their faces, _please_ ,” he sobbed. Dean turned to Cas with a furrowed brow.

“What’s happening to him?”

“I believe he’s seeing Lucifer again,” Cas sighed. “I don’t know what happened. I think the nurse placed a curse on him, but… shouldn’t it have _lifted_ by now?”

“I don’t know, man,” Dean stared desperately down at his brother. Sam’s eyes seemed to be drooping, and though something in his head was talking to him, he looked ready for sleep. “Let’s just get him home, let him have his forty winks, and take it from there. We still don’t know if this is permanent or not.” Cas admired Dean’s constant optimism about his brother; for the whole time that he’d been a human, he’d just felt a crushing cynicism.

Together, they lifted Sam from the floor and, against all his protests, carried him back to the Impala. Cas offered to sit in the back with Sam, but Dean stopped Cas, claiming that Sam needed all the room he could get. Nodding curtly, Cas sat shotgun while Dean drove them all back to the bunker.

The ride was silent, Dean not wanting to play his tapes in case he woke Sam, and both being too nervous to talk. Cas wouldn’t want to admit it, but he was feeling queasy from all his worry. He knew he had to calm himself - Sam _would_ make it, it would be okay…. even if it just seemed a little impossible at that moment, as Sam was still begging Lucifer to leave him alone, to leave Cas alone.

Even with the tense atmosphere, Dean managed to floor the speed.

As they pulled up to the bunker, Sam let out a loud moan, as if he was in pain. Cas glanced over his body quickly, finding no reason for Sam to be hurt. And yet Sam whimpered and writhed on the back seat as Cas winced in sympathy. Reaching out a hand, Cas gently tapped Sam’s arm in the hopes of grounding him. The gesture seemed to work, and Sam calmed.

Dean was already out of the driver’s seat and at the back door. As he opened the door, he wrapped his arms around Sam’s broad shoulders and lifted him from the leather. Cas rushed from his seat to assist Dean in carrying Sam back to the bunker. From either side, Castiel and Dean held Sam up as they stumbled to the cool metal door of the bunker.

Dean hurried ahead of Cas to open the door for them. Sam’s room was the furthest away from the entrance so, for convenience, they headed Cas’ room. Still mumbling to himself, Sam resisted going into Cas’ room, and though Dean tried to push him, Cas paused them to listen.

“Please no, _don’t_ , I can’t go back there, I _can’t_ -” Sam stuttered, looking at the room with great fear. Gingerly, Cas rubbed a hand over Sam’s back, as if he were burping a child. The gesture clearly comforted Sam, as he leaned back into the touch and stopped fighting them. Eventually, they got Sam settled on Cas’ bed, watching him carefully as he snuggled into the covers.

“I’m going to go research this bitch,” Dean sighed tiredly, rubbing a hand over his face. Cas nodded understandingly, but as Dean sauntered over to the door Cas didn’t move.

“I’m going to stay with Sam,” Cas declared, eyes not quite meeting Dean’s. Still, he could feel the suspicious glare Dean was sending him, and eventually looked up. Dean’s eyebrows were raised sky high and he wore an unimpressed expression. With guilt building up inside him, Cas tried to shrug inconspicuously. But Dean still caught on.

He _always_ caught on.

“Tell him,” Dean said, before walking out of the room. Bewildered, Cas looked between the door and Sam, who was sleeping peacefully. He knew from experience that the nightmares would come soon enough - the ones that involved Lucifer tormenting his precious Sam like a chew toy.

Afraid for Sam, Cas curled up beside him in the double bed, ready for when the terror arrived.

 

Cas woke up when Sam did, and thought he did not remember falling asleep he was glad he had. Grunting, Sam pushed himself up, jumping a mile when he saw Cas lying next to him. Sam began to shake slightly, tremors wracked through him until he realized he was safe. Thankfully, he seemed to be okay, all memories of Lucifer gone.

“Are you okay?” Cas asked, eyes scrutinising Sam carefully. Frowning, Sam nodded slowly, though he seemed very confused. They both pushed themselves up, resting against the headboard. Sam pulled his legs up, while Cas spread his out in front of him.

“Cas… what am I doing in your room?” Sam questioned, sight quickly dashing around the bare room. There were no books on the shelves, no posters, no colour on the bed sheets. It definitely wasn’t his room.

“Don’t you remember?” Sam shook his head, encouraging Cas to continue. Cas paused, preparing himself to explain. “On the hunt, you started having Hell flashbacks again.”  
“I did?” Sam furrowed his eyebrows, sighing slightly.

“You did,” Cas repeated, a sad look in his eyes. He took a deep breath and sighed, before turning his body to face Sam. “You really scared me yesterday, Sam. I thought I was going to lose you, and that thought was _unfathomable._ I don’t want to live in a world where you’re not there.”

“What are you talking about?” Sam laughed nervously, tapping Cas’ soft hand.

“I care about you… I care about you a lot,” Cas told him, looking deeply into Sam’s eyes. In the soft light, those eyes looked like sunflowers, mirroring Sam’s true beauty. “Probably a lot more than I should. But I do. I don’t want to lose you. I just… want _you._ ”

“You ‘want’ me as in…” Sam started, but trailed off. He honestly could not believe what Cas was implying, and held his breath at the thought that he was interpreting it wrong.  
“Boyfriend, date, lover,” Cas waved his hand as he said each word, like he was reading off a mental list. As he opened his mouth to say another, Sam covered Cas’ hand, his large palm engulfing Cas’ slender fingers, and brought Cas to a stop.

Neither one of them said anything for a few minutes. Sam was too stunned to even breathe, millions of thoughts running through his head. His jaw fell slack, and he softly exhaled as he tried to speak, but he couldn’t. He didn’t know how to respond! All he could think of was how warm Castiel felt when they hugged, and how Cas felt like his anchor (especially when Dean went off the rails). A low keening sound escaped from his lips, but Cas didn’t seem to notice.

Instead, Cas took Sam’s silence as a negative. Obviously, Cas thought, Sam hadn’t said anything because he didn’t return Cas’ feelings. Mentally, Cas berated himself, cursed out Dean as much as he could. He closed his eyes, hoping Sam couldn’t see the tears welling in the corners.

“Dean told me I should tell you,” Cas explained, though he was slowly slipping out of the bed as he did so. “I really hope we can forget it so it doesn’t affect our friendship.” He was halfway out the door when he heard a loud squeak.

Worried, he turned around to face Sam, and saw him giving the biggest puppy eyes ever. Sam looked like a child who’d had his favourite toy taken away, so utterly downhearted that Cas couldn’t help but return to him.

“Are you alright?” Cas asked, perching on the end of the bed.

“I, uhh,” Sam started before coughing awkwardly into his hand, like he always did before a confession. “You didn’t let me answer you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’d love to be your boyfriend, date, lover,” Sam smiled nervously. For a second, Cas thought his heart had exploded. He never thought he’d hear those words from Sam. Hoped for them, sure - but never thought they would ever be true.

“I… good,” Cas said, spluttering out the only word he could think of in the moment. A silence hung in the air as each tried the grasp the reality of what had just happened. “Do - do you want anything? You’ve had a rough night,” Cas said after a few moments.

“Honestly, I kinda just want to sleep,” Sam replied, already sliding back into a laying position. “Will you stay with me?”

“Of course,” Castiel replied, climbing under the covers beside Sam. Within seconds, Sam had latched onto Cas’ side, and was hugging him like a teddy bear.

But Cas didn’t mind.

He felt Sam’s breathing even out, and watched as Sam slipped deeper and deeper into sleep. Satisfied that Sam was safe, Cas allowed sleep to take over him too, with his new lover tucked closely to his side.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!  
> Comments and kudos are love <3  
> If you want to prompt me something, my ask is always open on my tumblr moonwillow27458  
> Hope you enjoyed this  
> Beta'd by the lovely casnsammy


End file.
